Add email.tlsname config option (#17849)

The existing `email.smtp_host` config option is used for two distinct
purposes: it is resolved into the IP address to connect to, and used to
(request via SNI and) validate the server's certificate if TLS is
enabled. This new option allows specifying a different name for the
second purpose.

This is especially helpful, if `email.smtp_host` isn't a global FQDN,
but something that resolves only locally (e.g. "localhost" to connect
through the loopback interface, or some other internally routed name),
that one cannot get a valid certificate for.
Alternatives would of course be to specify a global FQDN as
`email.smtp_host`, or to disable TLS entirely, both of which might be
undesirable, depending on the SMTP server configuration.