Improve lock performance when a lot of locks are waiting (#16840)

When a lot of locks are waiting for a single lock, notifying all locks
independently with `call_later` on each release is really costly and
incurs some kind of async contention, where the CPU is spinning a lot
for not much.

The included test is taking around 30s before the change, and 0.5s
after.

It was found following failing tests with
https://github.com/element-hq/synapse/pull/16827.