Sliding Sync: Avoid fetching left rooms and add back `newly_left` rooms (#17725)

Performance optimization: We can avoid fetching rooms that the user has
left themselves (which could be a significant amount), then only add
back rooms that the user has `newly_left` (left in the token range of an
incremental sync). It's a lot faster to fetch less rooms than fetch them
all and throw them away in most cases. Since the user only leaves a room
(or is state reset out) once in a blue moon, we can avoid a lot of work.

Based on @erikjohnston's branch, erikj/ss_perf


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Co-authored-by: Erik Johnston <erik@matrix.org>