Sliding sync: don't fetch room summary for named rooms. (#17683)

For rooms with a name we can skip fetching a full room summary, as we
don't need to calculate heroes, and instead just fetch the room counts
directly.

This also changes things to not return counts and heroes for non-joined
rooms. For left/banned rooms we were returning zero values anyway, and
for invite/knock rooms we don't really want to leak such information
(even if some of is included in the stripped state).