Use `max_upload_size` as the limit when following the `Location` header (#17543)

Otherwise we use the `expected_size` from the initial federation
request, which might be far too low.

### Pull Request Checklist

<!-- Please read
https://element-hq.github.io/synapse/latest/development/contributing_guide.html
before submitting your pull request -->

* [x] Pull request is based on the develop branch
* [x] Pull request includes a [changelog
file](https://element-hq.github.io/synapse/latest/development/contributing_guide.html#changelog).
The entry should:
- Be a short description of your change which makes sense to users.
"Fixed a bug that prevented receiving messages from other servers."
instead of "Moved X method from `EventStore` to `EventWorkerStore`.".
  - Use markdown where necessary, mostly for `code blocks`.
  - End with either a period (.) or an exclamation mark (!).
  - Start with a capital letter.
- Feel free to credit yourself, by adding a sentence "Contributed by
@github_username." or "Contributed by [Your Name]." to the end of the
entry.
* [x] [Code
style](https://element-hq.github.io/synapse/latest/code_style.html) is
correct
(run the
[linters](https://element-hq.github.io/synapse/latest/development/contributing_guide.html#run-the-linters)

)

---------

Co-authored-by: Erik Johnston <erikj@element.io>