Fix ExpiringCache.__len__ to be accurate

It used to try and produce an estimate, which was sometimes negative.
This caused metrics to be sad, so lets always just calculate it from
scratch.

(This appears to have been a longstanding bug, but one which has been made more
of a problem by #3932 and #3933).

(This was originally done by Erik as part of #3933. I'm cherry-picking it
because really it's a fix in its own right)