Use event streams to calculate presence

Primarily this fixes a bug in the handling of remote users joining a
room where the server sent out the presence for all local users in the
room to all servers in the room.

We also change to using the state delta stream, rather than the
distributor, as it will make it easier to split processing out of the
master process (as well as being more flexible).

Finally, when sending presence states to newly joined servers we filter
out old presence states to reduce the number sent. Initially we filter
out states that are offline and have a last active more than a week ago,
though this can be changed down the line.

Fixes #3962