Refactor `backfilled` into specific behavior function arguments (`_persist_events_and_state_updates`) (#11417)

Part of https://github.com/matrix-org/synapse/issues/11300

Call stack:

 - `_persist_events_and_state_updates` (added `use_negative_stream_ordering`)
    - `_persist_events_txn`
       - `_update_room_depths_txn` (added `update_room_forward_stream_ordering`)
       - `_update_metadata_tables_txn`
          - `_store_room_members_txn` (added `inhibit_local_membership_updates`)

Using keyword-only arguments (`*`) to reduce the mistakes from `backfilled` being left as a positional argument somewhere and being interpreted wrong by our new arguments.