Keep track when we try and fail to process a pulled event (#13589)

We can follow-up this PR with:

 1. Only try to backfill from an event if we haven't tried recently -> https://github.com/matrix-org/synapse/issues/13622
 1. When we decide to backfill that event again, process it in the background so it doesn't block and make `/messages` slow when we know it will probably fail again -> https://github.com/matrix-org/synapse/issues/13623
 1. Generally track failures everywhere we try and fail to pull an event over federation -> https://github.com/matrix-org/synapse/issues/13700

Fix https://github.com/matrix-org/synapse/issues/13621

Part of https://github.com/matrix-org/synapse/issues/13356

Mentioned in [internal doc](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lvUoVfYUiy6UaHB6Rb4HicjaJAU40-APue9Q4vzuW3c/edit#bookmark=id.qv7cj51sv9i5)